Your Eyes
by AccioMagic167
Summary: BOOK 7 SPOILERS! Severus Snape has always loved Lily Evans. Join him on his journey throughout his years in Hogwarts and beyond. Songfic to Your Eyes from RENT. Reviews are greatly appreciated!


**A/N: Okay, so I've wanted to do this ever since I finished Deathly Hallows. Sorry it took so long to post this! Writer's Block... :/ Well anyways, I think that the song, "Your Eyes" fits the story so so well. The Prince's Tale was seriously my favorite chapter in the entire series. I keep rereading it over, and over... : **

**The book was absolutely brilliant! I cried my eyes out over it. Thank you, JK Rowling. **

**Disclaimers: I do not own anything, blah blah... I used a lot of direct quotes from the book as well... Sooo... yeah. Don't own anything :**

**1****st**** Year**

Severus Snape watched Lily Evans walk forward, trembling slightly, to the Sorting Hat. She sat with her eyes closed, and then…

"Gryffindor!" The worn old hat shouted, and Lily leapt off the chair and hurried away to the table that was cheering the loudest. Severus clapped for her too, but he felt a twinge of disappointment in the pit of his stomach. From the table, Lily's bright green eyes found his dark ones. She shrugged and gave him a small smile; Severus felt something else in his stomach: a feeling that he couldn't quite make out. Shaking it off, he waited for his turn. When it finally came, he slowly walked over to the stool, overly conscious of the fact that Lily was watching him intently. He sat, waited, and heard the hat call, "Slytherin!" He nearly ran over to the Slytherin table and sat nest to an older boy with gleaming blond hair and an equally shiny prefect's badge who gave him a pat on the back, but Severus's eyes only sought Lily's. To his frustration, however, he couldn't see her over the heads of the taller students.

Finally at the end of the feast, he caught her eye. Lily gave him a thumb's up, happy that he'd gotten into the house that he'd wanted. He grinned back and waved as the prefects led them in opposite directions.

_**Your eyes  
As we said our goodbyes **__**Can't get them out of my mind **__**And I find I can't hide **__**From your eyes **_

**3****rd**** Year**

"Lily, don't you remember? We were supposed to be friends? Best friends?" Severus searched her face anxiously.

"We are, but Sev… I really don't like some of those people that you hang around with. They are just _creepy_! Have you seen the type of magic that they use? What do you see in them?"

"It's nothing!" He insisted, trying to sound as though it didn't matter to him. "Just-just for laughs, that's all…"

"Oh, so you think what Mulciber tried to Mary MacDonald the other was just for a laugh? It was Dark Magic, Sev! And if you think that's funny…"

"Well, what about the stuff that Potter and his mates get up to?" He spat in retaliation. He saw Lily's eyes narrow. "What's Potter got to do with anything?"

"They sneak out; I've seen them at it. It's got something to do with that Lupin… Come on, Lily!" He said, seeking her mouth open. "You can't deny it… They go out every month _at the full moon!_"

"I know, Sev," she sighed. "But why are you so obsessed with them? Why do you care? Potter and his mates don't use Dark Magic. And I think that you're being really ungrateful!" It was his turn to open his mouth, but Lily silenced him by raising her hand. "I heard what happened the other night by the Whomping Willow," she continued in a hushed voice. "James saved your life… You could have been killed by whatever's down there if not for him!"

Severus's pale face flushed. "Saved? Saved! He saved my neck as much as his own and his friends! There was nothing… _brave_ about it! I'm not just going to let you-"

"_Let_ me? _Let_ me?" Lily said furiously. Severus backtracked hastily.

"I meant- I mean- Look…Potter fancies you!" The words came without his control. He blushed, but continued," I don't want to see you get made a fool of! He's just… He's not the big Quidditch star… strutting around with-"

"I know that James Potter is an arrogant toerag. I don't need you to tell me that," Lily retorted. "But Mulciber and Avery's idea of humor is evil, Sev. I don't see how you can be friends with them…"

But Severus didn't hear anything else about Mulciber and Avery. As soon as Lily called James "arrogant", he relaxed. "So she _doesn't_ fancy him…" He walked the rest of the way with his heart feeling a lot lighter.

**5****th**** Year**

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" Severus saw Lily blink in surprise, a look of complete shock and hurt flooding her wide eyes. "_No, oh no… I didn't mean it… I'm sorry… please…" _

As he glanced back up at her, hoping, praying, her gaze turned utterly cold and hard. "Fine," she said very coolly. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_." She practically spat out the word. Snape didn't even hear what James snarled at him. All he could hear was, "_Mudblood... Mudblood… Mudblood…" _

"I'm sorry."

"Save your breath."

"I'm sorry! I didn't… You know I didn't… I wasn't…."

"Thinking?" Lily supplied angrily. "Is that your excuse? Well, you and your Death Eater friends call everyone of my birth _Mudblood._ Why should I be any different?"

"Listen to me, Lily!" He grabbed her arm and she whirled to face him. Her eyes were blazing furiously, her cheeks flushed. He deflated a bit under her intense stare. "I would _never_ call you a Mudblood. Please believe me. I didn't mean it. Please…" He felt as though he was drowning in the depths of her cold green eyes.

"Look, I can't," Lily said, clenching her hands, her eyes narrowing into slits. "Sev, I can't understand you anymore. We used to be friends, best friends." Severus opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it again hopelessly. Every word that she said felt like a blow to his heart. "but I just can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your path. I've chosen mine." With one last unfathomable gaze from those eyes, she spun on her heel and climbed through the portrait hole. As it clicked shut, Severus stood on the spot, trembling. Spinning around suddenly, he slammed his fist into the wall in fury. Wincing, he withdrew it and saw the blood. But that pain could not compare with the pain in his heart as he stalked off towards the dungeons._**  
The ones that took me by surprise  
The night you came into my life  
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes**_

_**How'd I let you slip away  
When I'm longing so to hold you  
**_

**After Godric's Hollow**

Severus slammed the door behind him, shaking uncontrollably. With a low wail, he sank to the floor and buried his face in his hands. He clenched his fist. It was his fault. _His fault. _He kept pounding the words into his head. She was dead. Lily Evans. _Dead._

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. He leapt up to see the painting on the wall giving a small, "_Ahem!"_ When the man in the painting saw Severus glaring at him, he quickly said, "Headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Percival Wulfric… Er, well, he requests a meeting immediately."

"Can't it wait?" Severus snarled. The painting shook his head, looking scared. Clenching his fists in anger, he strode over to the fireplace, snatching up a handful of Floo Powder. He stepped into the emerald green flames and second later appeared in the Headmaster's office.

He opened his mouth to let out a curt, "Dumbledore," by way of greeting, but the look of sadness and his air of quiet grief caused something inside of him to break. He let out a low noise that caused Dumbledore to look up in alarm. "Oh, Severus," he said softly, gesturing to the chair in front of him. Snape lurched into it and sank down, gripping his head in his hands. "I thought…you were going… to keep her… safe."

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," said Dumbledore. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?" Severus could not answer, guilt bubbling up inside of him. "Her boy survives," said Dumbledore quietly after a minute. Severus glanced up with a small shake of his head. "Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evan's eyes, I am sure?"

"_DON'T_!" Severus shouted, leaping up, anger surging through him. Of course he remembered, how could he not? The daft old man… Thousands of images flashed through his mind, her eyes… "Gone…dead…" He collapsed back down.

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

_**Now I'd die for one more day  
'Cause there's something  
I should have told you**_

"I wish… I wish _I_ were dead…" he whispered.

"And what use would that be to anyone?" Dumbledore's cold tone made Severus glance up again. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear." Severus processed the words one by one in his mind.

"What-What do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died." Severus's heart clenched painfully. "Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."

_**Yes there's something  
I should have told you  
When I looked into your eyes**_

**(Harry's) Year 6 at Hogwarts**

"You have used me." Severus growled, pulsing with rage.

"Meaning?" said Dumbledore calmly.

"I have spied for you and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you. Everything was supposed to be to keep Lily Evan's son safe. Now you tell me that you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter-"

"But this is touching, Severus," interrupted Dumbledore, looking serious. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"

"For _him_?" Severus shouted. "_Expecto Patronum!" _

Out of his wand, the silver doe bounded gracefully on the floor, leaped lightly across the office and soared out the window and into the night. Severus watched her with tears in his eyes, an indescribable amount of pain in his heart. As Dumbledore turned back to him, his blue eyes were full of tears as well.

"After all this time?"

"Always."

_**Why does distance make us wise?  
You were the song all along  
And before this song dies**_

_**  
**_**The Shrieking Shack**

Severus Snape lay sideways on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, blood gushing from the deep wound in his neck. Somewhere, he heard footsteps. He saw emerald green eyes, and felt a pang of shock. Then his eyes focused on the face of Harry Potter. "_He… must… know…" _he thought somewhere in his mind. "Take it… Take it…" His vision swam before him as he felt the memories rushing out of him. The blood was leaving him, and he felt himself grow even weaker. He gripped the front of Harry's robes with all the strength that he had left. "Look… at… me…" he managed to gasp out. And the boy looked at him, and Severus saw those eyes again, the eyes of the only person he had ever loved, the eyes of Lily Evans. _**  
I should tell you I should tell you  
I have always loved you **__**You can see it in my eyes**_

His vision faded to black and the hand thudded to the ground, and Severus Snape moved no more.

**A/N: Sorry the end was a bit rushed... But I hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought!**

**And hit that little review button. It makes good things happen :**


End file.
